People are meant to be relating. It has been proved that connection plays a role in our emotional development from a very young age and that it influences our adult relationships subconsciously. As babies, we are responsive to the emotions and reactions of our caretakers and our social environment; our joy and our capacity for wellbeing depend on our connection-level during infancy and later on as adults also.
The core issues and frustrations that arise in our relationships are connected to the hurt we experienced from our childhood. When we have been neglected as a child, we are likely to be sensitive when being ignored by our partner. If we felt criticized or abandoned, these fears may manifest in our committed relationships. This can even overshadow the positive aspect of a relationship, often leaving us to wonder if we chose the right partner. This pattern can impact every single one of our relationships, romantic and otherwise.
When there is no interaction or a broken connection, anxiety comes. And this is the biggest pain.
We need to understand the role that connection plays in our own relationships as well as ways to communicate more effectively with family, friends, co-workers, etc. Moreover, if we begin to consciously Connect with those that we love and interact, we will enjoy stronger and more fulfilling relationships for the years to come, increasing our levels of happiness and, hence, our good mental and physical health.
Even more, this is also connected to nutrition since cravings and eating disorders often are a result of a broken connection during our infancy. Nutrition comes as a substitute.
The impact of a simple smile or a happy face has on a baby, by restoring amazement and joy is that of a repair process. Likewise, we, grown-ups, can regain that sense of original connection and joy through deep listening, love, mirroring, empathy. The safe conversation process by turning off our movie in order to watch our partner’s movie -even if it is completely different from ours’- is the key to regain true connection. Seeing and validating the other’s truth will allow a huge transition to connecting thanks to a sense of safety and appreciation. This process enables the brain to change and from secreting cortisol -with a relationship of mutual judgement-our partner will produce endorphin with a relationship of understanding. That neurochemical process can be attained with small caring behaviours, surprises and, high energy sources of laughing. At least and not last, negativity and devaluation of the other person is the biggest disease of human’s relationships and produces toxins; as such it should be completely put down and we should remove it from any interaction about everything, and, at all times.
